The Friendly Skies

There is something to be said about the travelling public, especially those in airports. It is my firm belief that when a person's status in life turns from "Citizen" to "Passenger" they immediately lose about 60 points of IQ. I would like to reaffirm this by sharing with you some of my airport stories. My first story comes out if Reagan National Airport. This video has some incredible footage of stupidity on the parts of both the TSA and a certain passenger.


The things I want to draw your attention to...first at 0:35 you can see a TSA officer acting like he's going to beat the head of the other officer in. I'm all for some fun in the workplace and shenanigans with coworkers, but there's passengers right there for fuck's sake!
At 1:00 you can see a woman being escorted out of security by yet another TSA officer. God, this lady is a bitch...see how she's screaming at the poor guy for something he has no control over? I hate the TSA, I really do. The management there makes such stupid rules that the officers have to follow with no representation for changing them or making their workplace better. It is management there I have a problem with, not the individual officers getting shit on by the public. Remember that next time you fly goddammit. Anyhow, I digress. At 1:55 or so, the woman is now engaged in a debate with airport police. The officer should have shot the bitch. She is then digging for what I have found out to be her SECRET SERVICE credentials...Secret Service...really...you're really going to do this lady? So, the heated debate goes on until at 3:12 where the woman's KID STARTS RUNNING AWAY FROM HER! This I found to be priceless. She can't even control her goddamn kid, let alone her baggage through the airport. That shit is awesome. She later went on Dr. Phil and bitched about this, kinda like this woman. WTF is going on at Reagan National? Both of these incidents come from there...

My next submission deals with a quote. I swear to god, I actually heard this come out of someone's mouth at an airport as her defense for why she should be able to take a bottle of water on a plane.

"Water is not a liquid"

...what? Did I just hear that right? Let's try that one again.

"WATER IS NOT A LIQUID"

I think there's something crazy stuck in my ear...because last I checked, water is THE liquid! Sweet Zombie Jesus on a Pogo Stick! How the fuck is someone actually going to use this in their defense? This is staggeringly stupid! The TSA officer just stood there dumbfounded for a bit, awestruck by what has just happened in front of him. I wanted to beat the woman with a metal detector...hey, now I understand the guy from the first video!

There are so many other stories we all can tell about the airport and I would love to tell you all of mine, but that would simply take too long. Instead, I am going to leave you all with this, what I think all of us should keep in mind when we travel.