Zebras

Can a zebra really change its stripes? Desmond Tutu writes in his book "No Future Without Forgiveness" that the horrors of apartheid could only be worked past with forgiveness on both sides. This seemed to work well enough, but where's the justice? Is justice just a flawed concept we came up with to satisfy our own egomaniacal sense of self worth? If so, then where does that put god in all this? I once had a friend say that only god could grant forgiveness...and that friend is an atheist...does this mean by that logic there is no such thing as forgiveness in the world? And if there is, who is to deem who is worthy of it? The victim? What if both parties are the victim? How does one forgive themself? I think that one's the hardest of them all. How does a man of upstanding moral character (permanant or newfound) decide when he is worthy of being forgiven for his past misgivings? Even in acting in the role of the aggressor, he would still remember the sins of the past and get this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. This would all also lead him to question the existance of god, in whatever form he believed him to be. How could he still feel so terrible about all he had done, and furthermore hate himself when there is THE source of forgiveness right there wittnessing his sorrow for his crimes? When does it become ok to see yourself as a decent person when your vision is forever clouded by the memory of your evil? Not any answers here, doubt I'll find any out there either.